And on the seventh day, Michael Phelps invented the Internet

...or at least, the parts of it where you can leave comments.

What is it about this guy that transforms the world into a 13-year-old girl with a crush? Is it his massive flippers, his beastlike abilities or his suspected bionic origins? Is he the child that sprang fully-grown from Zeus' forehead, or is he Zeus himself? The commenters over at Gawker tackle these questions, which touch on the basic philosophic principles of love, aesthetics, and man's place in the universe.

Standouts from the 1106 (and counting!) answers to the question, "what else can Michael Phelps do that makes him cooler than you?"

The scientific: "Michael Phelps can split the atom. With his bare hands"

The literary "Michael Phelps made Godot wait for him"

The technological "Michael Phelps is the operating system for the Mac Air"

The historical "Michael Phelps was training in a river and smiled at a group of women washing clothes on the banks in passing. It is the creation story of Ancient Egypt"

The political "After Nancy Pelosi met Michael Phelps, she quipped, "I wouldn't be opposed to a little offshore drilling"

The rueful and perhaps envious "Michael Phelps once ate an entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper inside."

Read the rest here.